Never Argue Again

The biggest threat to all your relationships, is an argument – and I don’t just mean the chicks or blokes you love. I mean your relationship with everyone you meet. Something most folks don’t know is you can easily avoid arguments with everyone.

Before you come at me, and send me mad emails about dumb shit, there is a difference between a disagreement and an argument.

Disagreements are fine (and normal) because it’d be weird and boring if you never disagreed with anyone about anything.

Arguments are unnecessary. They are disagreements on a topic that both humans are emotionally attached to. Arguments are emotional. Arguments are not enjoyable. They achieve nothing and never will.

More:

If you carry this feeling through time (hold a grudge) then that’s called trauma – and it seems pretty dumb to give yourself trauma over a damn conversation. You should be able to discuss money, health, religion, politics, or whatever cult you just joined – peacefully – with any other human you want.

But you can’t.

(maybe you’ve noticed)

You just can’t.

The reason you can’t is because most humans have emotional attachments to weird topics, even if you don’t. So if you want to have better relations with almost every other human you meet…

…learn to not be that dude.

Be the person who can talk about anything openly, honestly, and unemotionally, because you know damn well it is okay to disagree. If you can consistently leave emotion out of it, you will leave the other person little choice but to abandon their own emotion and do the same thing, even if you still disagree. If they are too far right or too far left, that’s their problem.

But let the little guys argue.

Cynthia replied to my ‘avoid arguments’ email from above:

“Sorry but this is a gross over simplification of conflict at a time where we must stand up to gross injustice. Please don’t tell me I need to keep emotion out of it when, as just one small example, we have neighbors (here in the US) proudly supporting an ignorant fascist who, among other things, locks little kids up in cages at the border. When I overhear these people talking MAGA, I will confront them every single time. This detached stance you’re promoting is total BS.

Cynthia

Sent from my iPhone, invented by the son of a Syrian immigrant.”

Cynthia missed my point.

Emotions are normal.

Disagreements are useful.

Mixing the two is called an argument…

…and arguments never solve a damn thing.

I agree that it can be difficult to learn. But I stand by what I say. If you have neighbors supporting something you don’t agree with, confront ‘em.

Sure.

It’s cool you stand up to gross injustice or whatever.

My point is, the more emotional you are while confronting these people (or any other human) the less influential you’ll be. That’s just how reality is. If you want actual results, it is the person who stays calm and assertive who will always have the advantage. Did my original ’emotional’ email above go too far?

You be the judge.

Keep Reality Real,

Tristan Weatherburn
https://tristanweatherburn.com

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