VIDEO: Matthew Perry’s view of addiction

We all know Matthew Perry tragically died last week.

We also know the star of Friends suffered from addiction his entire adult life.

Obviously, I respect Matthew’s passing and will only focus on his view of addiction here, because this is as a man who attended over 6,000 AA meetings (an organization that has always taught the polar opposite of what I teach) and the whole situation seems radically relevant to my training.

And, Matthew’s problem wasn’t just with booze…

His words:

“When I’m carrying weight, it’s alcohol; when I’m skinny, it’s pills. When I have a goatee, it’s lots of pills.”

MATTHEW PERRY

About a decade back, there was a televised argument between Matthew Perry and Peter Hitchens, the disgruntled brother of the late, great—and famously more famous—Christopher Hitchens.

While Christopher rose to stardom via religious debates (witty enough to birth a new term to describe his general use of logic as… the ‘Hitchslap’) his brother Peter was busy writing a book he regularly complains nobody bought, on the ‘fantasy’ of addiction.

(his words)

Anyway, these two got to talking on camera.

And, a situation ripe for battle emerged:

• Matthew Perry says addiction is a disease
• Peter Hitchens says addiction is not a disease

A heated LIVE TV battle began..

Matthew used himself as an example of a victim, in an attempt to prove that he was powerless against addiction—a dangerous mental game to play—as even the most amateur mindset enthusiast knows. Even in Evolve Already, we have entire lessons on the importance of not identifying with your behavior.

Example:

You are not an alcoholic.

You’ve just been drinking a lot lately.

All of which is the opposite of what AA teaches, btw.

My opinion:

As for whether addiction is a disease or not?

That subject is superfluous.

Call it a virus.

Call it a disease.

Call it an allergy.

Call it a bunny rabbit for all I care.

It is unimportant which label you choose for the global phenomenon of addiction.

As for the beef between Matthew Perry and Peter Hitchens… I believe they are both right and wrong, depending on who they are talking about.

…So I side with Henry Ford…

…who famously said this:

“If you think you can do a thing or think you can’t do a thing, you’re right.”

HENRY FORD

Although I have great respect for everyone I have just mentioned, I believe Henry Ford’s mindset, impact on the world, and overall success, dwarfs everyone else’s combined. I also believe his simple quote is more profound than anything Peter or Matt brought to the round table of addiction.

That’s all I have to say about it.

RIP Matthew Perry.

Keep Reality Real,

Tristan Weatherburn
https://tristanweatherburn.com

PS. Here’s a shorter, 3 minute version of the argument I speak of:

Days Later I Sent This Email…

A few Earth rotations ago, I wrote an email about the tragedy of Matthew Perry’s passing.

It was a friendly piece about the Friends star’s mindset of identifying with his addiction, made most obvious during his decade-old debate with the unfortunate Peter Hitchens.

After wading through 100s of replies from that email…

….seems we all agreed.

Here’s one reply from Evolve Already subscriber, Dawn:

Damn.

Attending 6000 AA meetings sounds like a living hell. Not that anyone asked me, but I agree with you that they’re both right, and wrong. Also, Peter Hitchens, you’ll never be as cool or as smart as your brother, but I digress…

I’ve probably attended several thousand 12 step meetings and I am ecstatically pleased to have observed that many ppl, including me, stopped with the traditional identification “hi I’m Dawn and I’m an addict”.

By the time I left a number of years ago, it was getting more common to hear “hi I’m Dawn and I’m glad to be here” or some variation of that. Not really sure what I’m trying to say, other than that I’ve done a sh*t ton of drugs in the past and I’m thrilled that I no longer do that. I’m also thrilled that I no longer attend 12 step meetings…

And another from long-time subscriber, Prajwal:

Hey Tristan,

First off, really sad about Matthew’s demise. Seemed like a real nice guy. And yes, having followed his struggle over the years, it hits me when he says he has been to detox like 40 odd times. That’s a person saying ‘yes’ and ‘no’ to his habit , like every 15 minutes.

But I reached out to say you and your program came in when I was really looking for an alternate to NA. The folks, all though all of them had good intentions, swore by the program being the only possible way. Well screw their 90 days and 90 meetings and ‘Hi, I’m a recovering addict’ nonsense.

I’m clean for 4 years come February. And I put zero effort to sustain that. Many more years will pass by.

So though hurt by Mr. Perry’s struggle, you mate, helped me not struggle like him. I know he is the kinda guy I would have been like. Sad by the fact that I am an addict but totally helpless about it.

Cheers,
Prajwal

As for my own beliefs…

Addiction doesn’t exist if you don’t want it to.

Shocking, I know.

But, that’s allowed.

You can quit.

You can also use occasionally.

Or, you can go all out and overdose on whatever drug or behavior you want…

…for whatever reason you want.

Just make sure what you are DOING is what you WANT.

It seems to me that basing your identity on your addiction is not only madness, it is a reliable highway to sadness, and will inevitably lead to learned helplessness.

So I’m humbled by all who have been through my training, dumped their addiction like a bad bud (puns always intended) and are now building something bigger than themselves.

There is zero doubt in my mind that my training (which includes learning to not WANT your bad habit, rather than avoiding it based on FEAR) is not only easier, but also superior to AA, NA, GA, MA, blah blah etc etc..

Oh, and don’t get me wrong:

I’m not against any of ’em.

If you have a bad habit, I’d be first to recommend you drop into one of their depressing meetings, for three important reasons:

1. To see that you are not alone
2. To hear the tragic stories other folk reveal
3. To learn that some people are 6,000+ meetings deep

And, if you decide that you do NOT want to identify with a bad habit and spend literally thousands of hours learning how to NOT do something (with limited success), then perhaps that is the moment your anonymous meetings will end…

…and you will begin to Evolve Already.

Details yonder:

https://www.evolvealready.com

Keep Reality Real,

Tristan Weatherburn
https://tristanweatherburn.com

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