Y’all ever noticed cats lose their shit all the time? They always be freakin’ out over nothing man.
Reminds me of my ex…
Like if a lamp falls in a room 3 doors down they will pretend the world is ending and ambulance around the room. Their panic is so intense they’ll probably break more lamps on the way…
They run under the bed if the wind blows too hard and jump 5 feet in the air if a cucumber is too close to their fury fucking face.
You get it…
They seem programmed to be sketchy.
So then I started thinking about other animals and how they are programmed. Basically, comparing similarities between the reactions of animals and humans.
Here’s my top 5…
(cats not included)
How This Works
There are 5 different colored sunglasses you can wear. Each color causes a different perspective. Each perspective will cause a different reaction, which I will represent using a different animal.
It ain’t complicated.
You don’t need to control your emotions. They happen automatically, like cats and my ex freaking out all the time. Instead, you just control your human perception that leads to the emotion in the first place.
Speaking of first place, the first pair of sunnies are red. When you look at the world through red sunnies, you become the Jackal.
The Red Jackal
Jackals are nature’s assholes.
They are cheeky and behave badly. Jackals are opportunistic laser-focused predators. Streetwise, yet closed minded. They use their intelligence to seek out opportunity, but to a jackal, that just means they find and attack weaker prey to avoid getting their asses kicked.
Through red sunnies, you see life as a fight. You tend to judge others because jackals are judgmental.
Humans judge, too.
Humans are hard-wired to judge other humans within 4 seconds in order to decide if you like them, hate them, couldn’t care less about them, or see them as a nuisance or threat.
It isn’t a bad thing.
It is in your best interest to judge other humans. But, it can lead to big problems if you have red sunnies on, because you will react emotionally.
Revenge.
Blaming.
Complaining.
Punishing.
Gossiping.
If you come across anyone doing these things, you can know your are dealing with the Jackal.
The most basic state a human can be.
Like someone new to the world, looking at the world through red sunnies means you can only see from your own point of view. It makes you feel you are right and the other person is wrong, as if it matters.
The problem with that is, most things don’t matter. It almost never matters if you are right or wrong. What does matter is how you treat other people and your relationship with them.
That will always matter to a social species like us, and Jackals just don’t get it. How you treat others will affect your life directly.
The Yellow Hedgehog
When we wear yellow sunnies, we become the hedgehog. Unlike jackals, hedgehogs are not attack animals.
Hedgehogs focus inwards.
They curl up when attacked and hide their squishy bits as defense. They display only hard spikes that are difficult to penetrate or avoid. They have evolved like this due to animals like the jackal. Just to stay safe.
And, it works.
Most animals refuse to engage with a hedgehog, especially if they have encountered one before.
They are impossible to deal with.
The yellow sunnies are similar to the red sunnies, but pointed inwards. We still judge in a negative way, but we do it to ourselves. If the hedgehog had one word to describe them it would be self-doubt. You see the world through self-doubting eyes.
Doubt, like all negative emotions, is just fear. Whether expressed as doubt or anger, fear causes people to not engage with you, because people must spend energy to be around you.
The problem with existing is, you cannot stop affecting other people. Even if you do nothing at all, people will judge your nothing. All you can do is stop doubting yourself and begin to believe the world genuinely accepts you… and then it will.
That’s how it works. Once you get to this point you can level up…
The Green Meerkat
Like humans, Meerkats are extremely social animals with hierarchy and employment. They have jobs like babysitter, lookout, warrior etc.
While working these jobs they demonstrate patience. A meerkat can stand at their post, moving just their head to scout the terrain, for hours. They don’t tire easily and they never give up. They don’t even sit down until their shift is over and another meerkat can take over.
And, the next meerkat is never late.
Meerkats are reliable, dependable, and patient. If the green sunnies had a single word it would be to WAIT:
What. Am. I. Thinking.
Through green sunnies, you have learned to stop and think about what you are thinking.
You don’t react immediately.
You observe reality instead of being phased by reality. You become accustomed to taking a moment before saying or doing anything stupid that you will later regret.
When we wear green sunnies, we are no longer reactionary. We are curious. If someone yells at us we don’t yell back. We stay silent and wonder what this person was thinking to cause them so much emotion.
An argument between a jackal and a meerkat is impossible. The jackal has no chance to start an argument because the meerkat isn’t even playing. The meerkat will remain silent and curios, maybe leave, but will never get angry. The meerkat will ask questions, but will never blame. If you can see the world through green sunnies sustainably, you have a fair way of being around other people. But it can be better…
The Blue Dolphin
We also have blue sunnies. When you put these on, you become the dolphin.
Dolphins are sentient creatures. They know they exist and they love it. One of few animals in the animal kingdom deemed self-aware. Also one of the only animals besides us to have sex for fun.
Actually, a lot of what they do is for fun. They enjoy life. They can recognize themselves in a mirror, and love to see their smiling face.
They are able to identify humans by sonar and even check out our skeleton structure. They find us fascinating. They help shipwreck victims fight sharks and stay afloat because, as mammals, they understand drowning and want us to just live and be happy.
These intelligent beasts are calm and assertive, rarely aggressive, the life of the party — and they love every moment. As playful detectives, not only do they passively wonder about things, but they’re actively curious about the world and why it is the way that it is. Curiosity that leads to one benefit above all other animals:
Dolphins want to work things out.
They want to help you have fun.
This gives you the rare opportunity to put on the final pair of sunnies.
The Purple Giraffe
Welcome to the peaceful purple sunnies of the giraffe.
Giraffes have two obvious body features. First, they have a long neck. This gives them a view other animals will simply never have.
They see more.
Also, in order to pump their own blood up that massive neck, they have the biggest heart out of all land animals on Earth.
They care, deeply.
When you wear the purple sunnies, you put your ego away and come from a place of loving other people first. You give an actual shit. You are authentic. You are not only curious about why someone else is hurting, but you actively give enough fucks to do something real about it.
Wearing purple sunnies means you judge other people, but from a place of wanting to understand their problem so you can help them. You want the best for them. And, you are willing to go out of your way to help them. Use the purple sunnies often and your life and the life of others around you will fall into place.
Anyway…
Just some tangible animals and colors you can attach to ways of being.
This can help you identify the problem with how you are seeing a situation and maybe employ a different thought, which can extinguish unhelpful emotions and destructive actions, allowing you to change your results in an instant.
(AKA: The S.T.E.A.R Method)
Always stay the fuck away from the red sunnies (jackals) and the yellow sunnies (hedgehogs) because they are the only negative sunnies in the lot.
We are all jackals sometimes.
But attacking other people achieves nothing.
We are all the hedgehog sometimes.
But beating yourself up also achieves nothing.
Green (meerkat) blue (dolphin) and purple (giraffe) are the only positive sunnies to wear. Being curious, playful, or caring. You will always be switching sunnies depending on your own mood, happiness levels, and how met your needs are. But if you are mindful about this training, then you can always come back to one of these three.
If you can do that, then you will never argue again.
This is a powerful skill that you can develop. And yeah, as always, changing the human you are being is a skill you can definitely develop over time.
Keep Reality Real,
Tristan Weatherburn
tristanweatherburn.com
Get monthly brain training to help you quit dumb shit, get shit done, and change the human you are being, with Evolve Already.
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