Return of My Racist Program… Email Eskimo! Now with 80% More Stereotypes!

This unlikely event was sparked (ironically) because of an email reply from long-time subscriber, Luke:

—

Hey Tristian,

I’ve been a subscriber for quite a while and actually bought your quid weed program several years ago.

You gave me advice and I actually now have my own course business, teaching EDM producers how to mix and master their music. It’s a high ticket course, but I’d like to be able to sell low ticket courses as well. Anyways that’s a topic for another day.

What I want to ask you about, is do you have any courses on writing email copy? Or copy in general? I think the reason I’ve stayed subscribed to your list for so many years is that you don’t come off annoying or pushy at all, and you strike the balance of being genuine while also getting your point across. I’d love to be able to have that same vibe when I am sending out emails to my own list.

Thanks!

Luke

—

It is true the benefits of running your own email empire are disturbingly unfair, especially when compared to what all my favorite “Instabrag Influencers” and Gen Z wannabe “Tik Tok Stars” are forced to go through…

Here’s just a few benefits:

1. Emails are out-of-sight

Perfect for introverts…

Emails are one-to-one, and your subscribers can reply to your emails without the judgy eyeballs of their family, friends, and lovers. So people who reply are always more real than any Fakebook comment or Instabrag post.

Instead, they talk in their real voice and say what is on their ACTUAL mind.

And, as a result, you develop hundreds of incredibly deep relationships.

2. You become impossible to “ban”

All-powerful billionaires like the ZUCK & MUSK couldn’t ban me if they tried. We all have a conspiracy friend who lives in Fakebook prison, and the same goes for any other social media. Even X still ban people (they just call it shadow-banning now).

Yet, in the world of email, you cannot be banned by billionaires.

3. If some troll hates you for no reason, the hate stops there

Trolls are powerless against your emails because nobody else will see their tantrum. Plus, one virtual flick, and your troll is banned for life. I’ve banned probably 100 people from my list (out of 10,000+), and at least 10 from Evolve Already.

4. Emails sell well

I mean ridiculously well. You should be making more than 1 dollary-doo per subscriber, per month, every single month. Try that with your favorite social media!

Plus, some of us make 5x or even 10x more than that…

…but, as Luke was on about, you gotta be good…

And, that’s exactly what Email Eskimo mansplains:

Although this program was popular in 2021-2022, I took it off the market because a few Americans told me the word “Eskimo” is now racist or something. So, until I can bother renaming it (which I may or may not do), she will remain off the market. That way I won’t offend any of those lovely snow-dwelling folk up North.

And, if it ever returns at all, the price will be $199.

The only exception is for folks who subscribe to Evolve Already before April. You, as well as current subscribers, get it for free — and you may be the last to see my (apparently racist) wicked ways spelled out for your viewing unpleasure.

This course shows you everything I do to grow & maintain a strong email list, even if (like me) you aren’t much on social media, are lazy, and/or party too much. You get it for free on the first of April with Evolve Already when you subscribe now.

‘Nuff said…

Details yonder:

www.evolvealready.com

Keep Reality Real,

Tristan Weatherburn
https://tristanweatherburn.com

PS. Canadians and Americans: Educate an Aussie neanderthal man who lives in Asia and doesn’t much care… Is the word “Eskimo” racist or nah?

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